Battlefield Earth: Review By Jakn

(ZERO STARS) AWFUL!

If I could I'd give this zero stars. Anyways.

Is there any other movie out there that could be even worse then this hunk of junk? If there is then I'd be surprised. There couldn't be a film with a more appalling script, horrendous acting, a horrible storyline, and unbearable visuals then this. What kind of mindless human-being came up with this dim piece of crap? That piece of crap got flushed down the toilet, sent to it's natural habitat, grew arms and legs, went to Hollywood, and made this crappy film. The script is highly senseless and dumb as hell; the storyline is something that came out of a dumpster filled with flies, garbage, and dumpster juice, -for Christ's Sake, it takes place in the year 3000- each and one of the actors and actresses don't even have any acting what so ever, -it just actless acting- and the worst part of all is that the movie is two hours long. Besides the length the script is the worst about the film. The dreadful and dull film goes like this.

The funky looking caveman named Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) decides to leave his funky caveman family to explore the ugly and destroyed world, until he and a couple of his caveman friends he met on the way, get kidnapped by the Psychlos, a race of human-like aliens, that are taking over the planet Earth. Goodboy then meets the leader of the Psychlos, Terl (John Travolta) that doesn't make any sense what so ever along goes with the film of course. Goodboy then finds out that the Psychlos are kidnapping every human in site to become there slaves to search for gold. For no reason Goodboy becomes Terl's favorite human and teaches Goodboy everything about their secrets of their race, their language, their history how to operate the wacky machines, how to teleport an atomic-bomb to destroy the Psychlo's planet, and to destroy the Psychlos evil plan for good. Goodboy then plans to team up with all of the human prisoners to fight back the Psychlos for what was theirs. Goodboy learns about what shapes are, what caveman really used to hunt, learning about the ABC's and 123's from reading books to prepare for the big battle between mankind and aliens for freedom.

Reminds a-bit of the line that Mel Gibson said in 'Braveheart'. "They can take our life's...but they can never take our freedom." The difference is the 'Braveheart' was exactly a good film. Unlike this which is nowhere near good. This is even worse then just-a-plain- bad-movie.

The aliens call the humans Man-Animals. All of the CGI Graphics and special effects are very cartoony. All the humans and aliens have multiple amounts of ponytails and even ponytails growing out of their noses that look to be about four to five feet long. Blame the make-up designers. The characters of the movie are flat-out retarded. It is so hard to follow what's going on because nothing seems to make any sense, it's like one scene to another and to another and to another. The humans eat rats and only rats as their favorite food. Haven't they heard of apples, or bananas? They seem to act like monkeys so why not have not eaten bananas? Oh that right's. They're cavemen, they don't know any better. None of the characters names aren't even said or mentioned in the film. I had to go online to www.imdb.com to find who was which character.

This is by-fact John Travolta worst he has ever done in his entire carrier. It's truly to worst of the worst of all the actors that have horrible acting in a of the actors worst acting in any film ever. This film is based off of the famous best-selling novel book "Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000". I bet the book was better then this trash.

If there is anybody out there that likes this movie, they must be smoking crack ...and I mean a lot. If there is anybody out there that says that this is the best movie in the world, then they need to be put in an insane asylum...for good. If you like this movie, then you need help. "Battlefield Earth" is the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life and the worst movie ever made of all-time out of all movies ever made. Worst Movie Ever!