Barbershop: Review By B. Alan Orange

Code Orange Alert #88898: Barber Shop

Check this out: These two guys in Illinois will take your dead body, cremate it, and turn those ashes into a diamond. And here we thought the state of Illinois had nothing to offer except some exceptionally good blues music and Roger Ebert. We were so wrong. Now I finally know what I'm going to do with my corpse. As to who'll wind up with the Me Diamond, that's still undecided. I've got no distant relatives and not one of my so-called friends even bothered to wish me a happy birthday today. I think I'll leave a curator instructions to send the Me Diamond to Eve, looped in a belly ring. I'll write her and tell her that my "make-a-wish" is for her to wear me in her bellybutton while she shoots her next music video or feature film role. That would be the greatest accomplishment of my worthless life.

I'm so in love with Eve. Not that I necessarily listen to her music, because I don't. I just like staring at her. For hours. Watching her bitch about Apple Juice has opened up a hole in my heart. I've buried that girl inside my chest, hidden behind veins and muscles in an attempt to keep her face perfect forever. The next time some uptown brother drinks her precious nectar, I'll be there with a shovel and a bag. I want Eve to be my girlfriend. I want to bring her candy and flowers only to watch her throw them across the floor in a fit of cliched black girl rage. I want her to tap me on the forehead in an aggressive move to make me leave the shop. That Eve's on-screen boyfriend cheats on her with some shriveled-up crack ho has me cracking my knuckles in offense of the stupidity in this world.

Yes, the girl has that special kind of heart-palpitating effect on me.

Triple X's biggest flaw, aside from its blatant homoeroticism, was that Eve only occupied about three minutes of screen time. Talk about a disasterpiece. Now, I know all you slobber baby fanboys will cite me as an idiot for this one, but I'd have much rather seen Eve in the Asia Argento role. Vin Diesel obviously couldn't take the competition; Eve already dominates the film and she's hardly in it. Thankfully, Ice Cube's latest effort gets it right. Barbershop pinches off just the right amount of Eve and sprinkles her generously on top of the proceedings to great effect. There are a lot of things to like about this latest Cubevision project; but Eve's the thing I liked the most. Sure, she might still be gathering her acting chops, but the girl is infectious. And, hey, she was in Orgasmo...

Finally. After being buried underneath a non-stop avalanche of crap these last few weeks, a film worthy of our praise has peeked out its tiny head. I won't tout Barbershop as a Must-See movie, because that's an obligatory statement sure to insight a riot. I will tell you, it's a Should-See film. They've locked down and dusted off a pleasant little gem with this one, and it might go missed. Why? Well, because everybody fears a label, and Barbershop just can't help but be labeled as a "Black Comedy." Sure, a loftier project might deserve this title; maybe something like Shaft meets the Black Stooges. But Barbershop deserves more respect than that.

It shouldn't be labeled primarily as a black film, just as we don't go around calling Diner, or The Big Chill, or Ferris Bueller's Day Off "White Films." This is a "Community Film." It's about family. Sure, some of the jokes are about being black, but the core message isn't strictly focused on any core agenda. It's just about being and living. It's a class act that skips on cliche. It can't really be seen as exploitation. It's a joy to watch, and its appeal stretches far beyond the black state of mind. Hell, I even heard mention (this may just be a rumor) that Daniel Carver gave it high praise.

Whenever Ice Cube fails to appear on the soundtrack to his latest movie, you know it holds a lot of potential. His vision is clear, unclouded by record sales. Cube's motivation is fueled by an inherent need to entertain in his current chosen medium, which, for the moment, is film. His focus is strictly on telling a good story. He's not worried about going gold or platinum with the soundtrack. And this reflects back into what he's throwing up on that screen. The man's got a good niche carved out, and he hasn't disappointed in awhile.

Here, he plays it smart by bucking the juvenile humor which has made the Friday Series so popular. Instead, this piece showcases another side of O'Shea Jackson. He's growing up, and he's making more mature, adult oriented films. This is a kinder, gentler, friendlier Cube. But don't fret. That hasn't ruined his sense of humor. Barbershop also represents a funnier Cube. He's perfected his craft and has become a Renaissance man in the process. Unlike some of his contemporaries, he's been able to fly under the radar. There's not as much pressure on him to pull in fifty million dollars opening weekend. That notion has given him room to experiment. With Barbershop, he takes something old and makes it new again; directly reflecting the actions of his own inherant character. Bravo, Cube...

The plot revolves around a corner barbershop in downtown Chicago. It's narrative is equally split into three parts. On one level, we have a story about a man who has inadvertently inherited his father's business and feels he shouldn't be running the place. Throughout the course of the film, we watch Cube sell his late father's barbershop to a loan shark, and then struggle with this seemingly wrong decision he's made.

Barbershop is also, just as much, about the people who work for and frequent the shop. Most of our precious screen time is smartly given over to this motley crew. It focuses on several well-developed characters; not one of them getting lost in the crowd. This is an achievement in and of its self.

Then, inter-cut with this rousing group, we have the exploits of Anthony Anderson, his friend, and a stolen ATM machine that can't be popped opened. Here's a subplot that almost feels like an entirely different movie. As things progress, these three elements come together and gel, easing us into a somewhat convenient, though tremendously crowd pleasing, finale.

Barbershop does start slow, just as an average day in the life of a hair stylist would, but as characters and situations are introduced, the movie picks up a brisk rhythm that hums along like the best Marvin Gaye song. There are some serious moments, and Ice Cube almost cries, but the hard laughs never quit coming. Cedric the Entertainer opens up some fresh ideas on a lot of black topics, such as Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, and Affirmative Action. The man says some stuff you wouldn't necessarily expect to hear in this type of movie, and it had a mostly black audience stomping the floor with approval. Some pretty funny stuff comes out of his mouth, and it's worth seeing the movie just for his comedic routine.

At the outset, this didn't look too promising. I decided to give it a chance, basically because I've enjoyed most of Ice Cube's later projects. Still, I walked into the theater expecting to loathe it. I came out actually having enjoyed hanging out with these people. For about ninety minutes, I wasn't lonely. I dug the company this one keeps, and whenever I'm in need of a friend, I'll probably pull this movie off my DVD shelf and pop it in for some companionship. Of course, even if it did suck, I'd probably own it so I could stare at Eve on pause.

Hopefully she'll like me when I'm a diamond looped through her belly.

Everybody wants to be a diamond.

This film succeeds in the rough.