Avatar: Review By Null and Void.

Dec 20th, 2009 by Null and Void.
A Personal Letter to Jim Cameron
  • OVERALL
    2.5
    WORTHY
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Mr. Cameron,

Off the bat, I would just like to say that I am a huge fan of your work ("Piranha II" was a masterpiece). You have taken what was once the mundane and usual in action cinema and done something completely different and new with it, creating the modern blockbuster with "Terminator 2" and "Aliens" You are a master of your craft and have made a definite mak on cinema history.

Your new film, "Avatar", has been in the works for over 15 years and very much like Stanley Kubrick and his film "Eyes Wide Shut", it is assumed that you think that this film just may be your masterpiece (The critics seem to agree. Four Golden Globe nods and likely Academy Award nominations to come). But I--although this may not mean much to the self-proclaimed "King of the World"--do not.

Granted, you have made one of the best looking films I have ever seen and it has some of the greatest special effects ever developed. But, the keywords are "best looking" and the world has fallen in love with your film because of this. But these things do not really matter. What truly, truly carries a film along is it's story. What made "The Terminator", "Terminator 2", and your other films so great is that they kept an even balance between the action, visual effects, and story. This film has a story, sure, but it seems as if you really didn't spend a whole load of time on it. I (and I don't think I'm alone on this one) really couldn't connect with your characters. I did not care for the Na'Vi or their plight, I couldn't care for Jake Sully's newfound and his love for his adopted home and people, and I felt sick to my stomach when it came to your view on the Earthicans.

"Take up the White Man's burden--

Send forth the best ye breed--

Go bind your sons to exile

To serve your captives' need;

To wait in heavy harness,

On fluttered folk and wild--

Your new-caught, sullen peoples,

Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden--

In patience to abide,

To veil the threat of terror

And check the show of pride;

By open speech and simple,

An hundred times made plain

To seek another's profit,

And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden--

The savage wars of peace--

Fill full the mouth of Famine

And bid the sickness cease;

And when your goal is nearest

The end for others sought,

Watch sloth and heathen Folly

Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man's burden--

No tawdry rule of kings,

But toil of serf and sweeper--

The tale of common things.

The ports ye shall not enter,

The roads ye shall not tread,

Go mark them with your living,

And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden--

And reap his old reward:

The blame of those ye better,

The hate of those ye guard--

The cry of hosts ye humour

(Ah, slowly!) toward the light:--

"Why brought he us from bondage,

Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden--

Ye dare not stoop to less--

Nor call too loud on Freedom

To cloke your weariness;

By all ye cry or whisper,

By all ye leave or do,

The silent, sullen peoples

Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden--

Have done with childish days--

The lightly proferred laurel,

The easy, ungrudged praise.

Comes now, to search your manhood

Through all the thankless years

Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom,

The judgment of your peers!"

-Rudyard Kipling

Mr. Cameron, it would seem to me that you are suffering from White Man's Guilt. "Avatar" shows just about everything that is wrong with the human race. You show that we are a violent, greedy race that is on a constant hunt for blood and oil (excuse me, "unobtainium") while completely ignoring the fact that deep down we are a morally good people. Sure, we do bad things (war, murder, etc.), but we still do so much good.

To wrap this up, I'll get to the point: Your film sucks, sir. Hopefully, "Battle Angel" will be better.

But I do have to admit, you really did make a successful live action adaptation of "FernGully: The Last Rainforest".

F*ck You,

The Soylent Green Monkey

Movieweb User

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Comments (29)

  1. IlikePie202

    dude. how the hell is h2 better than this visually stunning film? bad review on a great move. you have an awful taste of movies

    1 year agoby @Ilikepie202Flag

  2. The Soylent Green Monkey

    @summit10, not necessary at all.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreen2Flag

  3. The Soylent Green Monkey

    @soylentgreen, wow. What a dick.

    So right on, @luvdomus.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreen2Flag

  4. Summit10

    touche! is cursing really necessary???

    2 years agoby @summit10Flag

  5. Null and Void.

    Okay, so I looked you up Luvdomus and it is clear that you are the loser in this case. All you've done on this site is blast people who didn't like "Avatar". Get a life you f*cking turd.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  6. Null and Void.

    I was a bit in the heat of the moment while writing this review, kind of rushed. But f*ck you.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  7. Luvdomus

    Very poorly reasoned review from a an immature kid hung up on ideology.

    2 years agoby @luvdomusFlag

  8. WiseGuy

    Dude, you know me. There will never be an end to my profanity. You poophead. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! NO I DIDNT

    2 years agoby @zgcorleone072Flag

  9. Null and Void.

    Now you're tossing racial slurs around! Is there an end to your profanity?!

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  10. WiseGuy

    Oh I'm sorry, would bomb be considered a sware to you?

    2 years agoby @zgcorleone072Flag

  11. Null and Void.

    WiseGuy, stop swearing.. I find it extremely offensive.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  12. WiseGuy

    I'm not your buddy, friend. Im not your friend, buddy. lmao
    South park is the bomb

    2 years agoby @zgcorleone072Flag

  13. Null and Void.

    Whatever, friend.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  14. BloodandGuts

    i do get out a lot, and i'm not your buddy

    2 years agoby @bloodandgutsFlag

  15. Null and Void.

    Get out more, buddy.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  16. BloodandGuts

    to soylent green monkey,
    this movie was great, 5 out of 5. do not know why you said the film sucks, it was awesome. the story is just a story of a damn movie, get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    2 years agoby @bloodandgutsFlag

  17. Warhawk613

    I want to see this movie soon and the actors Sam and Zoe are rolling in the money. Great review

    2 years agoby @warhawk613Flag

  18. ed_wood

    Hey, to each his own. I thought the movie was great, one of the best of the year for sure.

    2 years agoby @ed-woodFlag

  19. Null and Void.

    "Wow... if a movie can upset you this much, i`m wondering what real life disapointments will be like for you... "

    lol WOW.

    And ZanyZap, bravo sir. Bravo.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  20. ZanyZap

    Mr. Soy Latte,

    While I don't agree with your review on any level (other than of course, the positive aspects), it was, and I commend you for it, f*cking hilarious. Your review failed in changing my current stance on this whole James Cameron project, but you succeeded in making me literally laugh my ass off. I'm still trying to figure out how to put it back on. ;P

    Avatar was a solid 4.789567 for me, and quite possibly my favorite film of the year. However, I'll have to see it again to refresh my mind, because right now, all I can think about is FernGully and that rainforest. Nice.

    F*ck You Too, ;)

    ZanyZap

    Movieweb User

    Maybe if the monkey like Na'Vi were green, you'd have appreciated it more. Sequel idea?!

    2 years agoby @zanyzapFlag

  21. Huntsman

    Yes ollie-styrene lets enjoy what it is. A over hyped below average movie that is fooling everyone with it's admittedly great effects. Also many filmmakers have done good vs evil before they've just done a lot better job of it. With a much better story and characters.

    2 years agoby @huntsmanFlag

  22. ollie-styrene

    Wow... if a movie can upset you this much, i`m wondering what real life disapointments will be like for you... Another thing: some stories does NOT dwelve into all aspects of human emotion or actions.. pherhaps James wanted to portray a clear good VS evil kind of story here.. maybe even in the future we are all rotten to the core.. who knows.. It seems some people want every movie to be developed into something that reveals all sides of the human emotion spectre.. lets just enjoy it for what it is!!

    2 years agoby @ollie-styreneFlag

  23. charlie111

    What I do not get is that some people are truly embracing themselves into the technological era and truly care about special effects, that they really just look past all the other important parts of a movie, and they do not realize that they are doing it. Great Review.

    2 years agoby @sassqwuatchFlag

  24. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    well, so far like avatar, a lot of movies will come out where they show the problem with mankind in the modern world, and lets face it, we may end up killing our world

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  25. Huntsman

    A great review.

    2 years agoby @huntsmanFlag

  26. Null and Void.

    Thanks, Newkill.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  27. Newkill3000

    Soylent Green, listen man, f*ck anyone who has something wrong to say about your dislike towards this movie. Your stating your opinion and these f*cking morons don't realize that. I think James Cameron fanboys are the worst fanboys ever.
    Anyway, great review.

    2 years agoby @newkill200Flag

  28. Null and Void.

    Yeah, whatever.

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag

  29. Null and Void.

    How do YOU know that I don't take it personally?

    2 years agoby @soylentgreenFlag