Armored: Review By Newkill3000

Dec 2nd, 2009 by Newkill3000
Wow! Isn't Armor suppose to protect you from negative objects, not send you any?
  • OVERALL
    0.5
    HORRIBLE
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Damn, this movie is the worst movie of the ye...No wait 12 Rounds already took the place of worst movie of the year. Well, in that Armored has to be the second worse movie of the year. How the hell do you get one of the most simplest action clinched plot and screw it up with bad dialogue, dumb directing, and just completely dumb overall. Okay, let me clear it up for you. How do you have a movie that stars Morphius, The Professional, Billy Loomis aka Scream killer, Sucre from Prison Break, the cool dancing guy that likes to stomp, and well Matt Dillon, a damn good actor and get a bad movie out of it. I just don't get that. All of a sudden I'm getting a bad feeling about the Expendables. No, no, no, bad thinking, bad thinking. The Expendables will be the most kick ass thing ever made.

See, this is exactly why I dislike this age of regular cable tv shows. I remember back when HBO showed nothing but special presentation movies that would never get a release date. I know if it was still like that, Armored would have definitely been shown on HBO or something instead of getting an actual release, no matter how many stars were in it.

Basically, if you've seen the full trailer you've seen the movie, and I mean that literally. You can actually tell what's going to happen next, not only because of the trailer but because this movie's so outrageously stupid. After walking out of this movie, I thought I was a freaking psychic. If you wanna know, well, then it's about a new guard who gets in with his co workers to help them steal money from there company, which is a armored truck service. The new guy goes along with them until a homeless gets shot and killed by one of the drivers. He locks himself in the truck and suddenly the movies turns into a watered down Panic Room rip off, which is worse than you think because Panic Room is also a terrible movie, but I'll take any kind of room after watching this garbage.

When I said this movie was dumb, I don't just mean the story. I don't even mean the realistic factors or anything like that. When I say dumb, I mean the characters do the most idiotic things I've ever seen. I almost wanted to yell at the screen. Hopefully, you haven't seen this movie and don't intend to. I can't believe I actually thought I would be entertained by this. The armor has a big ass crack in it.

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Comments (8)

  1. Sparkyxxx

    i shoulda read the reviews before wtching

    2 years agoby @sparkyxxxFlag

  2. Sparkyxxx

    sh*tty dont waste your time

    2 years agoby @sparkyxxxFlag

  3. Sparkyxxx

    waste of my time! lots of SERIOUS FLAW! they should just kill all themselves. they made the guy the screwed everyting up came out of the armored truck by bringing his brother hostage. When he came out all they do is head butt him!!! CMON!!!! I WOULDA SHOT HIM ON THE HEAD. AFter hours of pounding trying to get him out. OMG i want my money back!

    2 years agoby @sparkyxxxFlag

  4. 555554444

    I don't understand why Hollywood can't make a decent crime film anymore. This movie could have been one of the most awesome films ever IF they had chosen to film it right. Instead, like 99% of all the crime films they COMPLETELY SCREW IT UP and make a movie that is just painful to sit through, filled with "DO THE RIGHT THING" moral nonsense. I mean COME ON, it's just a movie, we don't always have to get a lesson in morality when we go to the movies.

    The story could have been an awesome tale of hard working guys, who were down on their luck financially after putting in years of loyal service for their armored car company. Have the company (due to the recession) tells everyone they are doing layoffs, and the loyal, (Older) members of the security force, the one's who gave the job everything they had are now FIRED.

    Well, Payback time... They rob the Armored car service and get away with it...

    THAT would have been an AWESOME FILM!!!!

    Instead, they make this piece of S__T Film...

    The move is horrible, Very unrealistic, Main character tries his best to sound and act just like Denzel Washington but comes up very short.

    2 years agoby @555554444Flag

  5. 24

    Horrible movie

    2 years agoby @newkiller1234Flag

  6. Batman Rules !!!

    Newslit6000 says - "The armor has a big ass crack in it." What a poet. Don't quit your Burger King job, assmunch.

    2 years agoby @the-fallenFlag

  7. Josh

    Yeah, I had a feeling this movie was going to be awful, it just had that vibe. It's a shame Milo V. never does any good movies; he's a pretty decent actor.

    2 years agoby @shuabertFlag

  8. Batman Rules !!!

    Gay movie, gay reviewer.

    2 years agoby @the-fallenFlag