The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009):Review By (Insert Username Here)

"OMG, IT'S NEW MOON!" - (Insert Username Here)
The very whisper of the names Edward Cullen or Jacob Black have the power to throw people, whatever your gender, into a tissy. Women because of Edward and Jacob's overwhelming...I really don't know what it is, but it has an effect. Men because, well, they're sick and tired of hearing those names. Period. Like Voldemort in the Harry Potter series(remember when that used to be popular?), Edward and Jacob are names they do not speak of, and do not want to hear.

Well, they better get used to it.

The Twilight Saga doesn't seem to be going anywhere. It's here to stay for at least two more years, and whether the popularity will remain once the series reaches its finale is unclear, but one thing's for certain: it will make a lot of money. A LOT. If you don't realize that, you must have a serious case of denial that probably stems from your year long hard-on for The Dark Knight. I'm at fault--I loved TDK just like the next person. I bashed Twilight. But let's face it: most of that money was the result of the late Heath Ledger's death. No one died from New Moon. So most of the people seeing this movie are die hard fans. While I'm not a die hard fan, I didn't hate the movie. In fact, it was pretty good(gasp). Maybe I had an epiphany. Maybe this is an apology letter of sorts, but the movie is not as terrible as some of you who haven't even seen it say it is.

Before diving into my actual review, let me state that that aforementioned epiphany came before seeing the movie. It resulted from the amount of over-the-line comments based on nothing but so-called principal. People who have not seen this movie out of some sheer belief that not donating a penny to this film will somehow make a difference. It won't. This movie was going to break records either way. At least I read the first book. At least I've seen this second movie. I can afford to have an opinion. Pull the stick out of your ass, grab a friend(preferably a girl), and see the movie. I'm not saying join the craze, I'm just asking to stop being so closed minded.

Now for the review(I may go off into more minor rants throughout). I don't have anything to compare this movie to. I didn't read the book. I didn't see the first movie. Walking into this flick, I was oblivious, not knowing what potential harm to my mental state I was about to walk into. Surprisingly enough, no harm was done during the watching of this movie and the words you are reading now were written by someone with a complete hold on their mind frame. If you don't already know, New Moon is the the second installment to the Twilight Saga, which tells the tale of a blood feud between vampires and werewolves, and the romance between Bella Swan(Kristen Stewart) and her vampire love, Edward Cullen(Robert Pattinson). Things seem to take a nosedive for that relationship in this movie, however, as Edward leaves Bella to "protect her." Bella ultimately finds comfort in the arms of Jacob Black(Taylor Lautner), who happens to be a werewolf. Shenanigans ensue.

The thing that New Moon does well is create an entirely different world to the one most of us are used to. In this world, vampires sparkle in the sunlight and werewolves have some anger issues which trigger their transformations(not the moon). Like I said, I used to bash Twilight for its supposed insults against the age old tales of vampires and werewolves. But lets face it. That premise will continue to live on. There will still be movies where vampires and werewolves kill people. Would I prefer that? Absolutely. But as long as a movie can successfully bring something different to the table that reaches to a larger audience, I'm all for it.

From what I gather, the first movie didn't do that so well, the whole *successfully* creating that world. As I've come to understand, that movie was very dark, not in mood, but in atmosphere. New Moon, on the other hand, it pretty bright. The atmosphere is inviting and the visuals have improved(I could tell just from the trailers that the first flick obviously had a low budget). It's obvious the new director, Chris Weitz, used the film's higher budget to offer a brand new style to this franchise. The CGI isn't the greatest, but it's good enough. The werewolves are stylistic and so are the fight scenes, which, for a guy, offer the movie a breath of fresh air(because a guy can only take so much of Bella's breakdowns).

The movie plays like your typical flick aimed at teenagers. Corny dialogue flourishes, but it also offers some humor. It's funny at times. It brings the action at times. Its heartwarming at times. Its a near perfect blend of downgraded, middle aged male-proof likability. Transformers 2 is a mindless action orgy, but men love that. At least the emotion in New Moon isn't forced and plays well with the story. Is it done perfectly? No. You won't find yourself crying, but I wasn't expecting it to. I expected it to be awful. So kudos. Somehow, the movie keeps your attention. And I do emphasize the "somehow." Maybe it's the fact that there are so many other people who are into this franchise, it just makes the whole experience worth while. "Oh my God, did you like New Moon?" "Yeah, I've seen it 3 times, WOO-HOO!"(I haven't seen it 3 times, but you get the picture).

That's not to say I still favor people calling this movie "amazing" or "masterful." It's not. If you call it that, I will still bring the reign, because it's not a work of art, far from it. But I do have a better appreciation for why some like it so much. I've been known to say that it's easy to make fun of, and it is. I found myself laughing at the instance when Edward first comes on screen in slow motion like it's freaking Baywatch. But it's also easy to like because it reaches out to a wide audience. You just have to accept it for what it is, and it isn't all that bad.

The performances are what I expected, though. Mediocre, but not terrible. Kristen Stewart needs to work on her crying. She acts like she's having an orgasm, like she thinks breathing heavily will convince the viewer. It doesn't. Taylor Lautner won't win any Oscars(sorry ladies). Robert Pattinson, however, shows hope. He isn't given much to go with in this role, at least in this film, and still gives a convincing performance. If he can find the right roles with the right people(and he's set to star alongside Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman in upcoming films, so he has a promising future ahead), then he'll have a successful career that isn't solely based on this one character. Besides those three characters, the only main roles are new ones, from the Volturi, a group of "royal" vampires. I really think they could have done more with this aspect of the film. A royal group of vamps that enforce the laws? That should be towards the top of the list. Unfortunately, the actors portraying these roles don't really get that much screen time or chance to shine. I do want to mention Dakota Fanning, however. The girl, at such a young age, can give you the creeps in 2 minutes of screen time, probably not even that. I wish the Volturi had more screen time just to see more of her performance. She's a better actress than most of the people in this movie at 14 years old, and she's proven that with her other performances.

Overall, New Moon is a simple yet likable movie. Not great, but good. It gladly flaunts its teenage approved simplicity and if middle aged men don't like the movie, that's fine, because that's not the age group it's going for...but at least give it a chance before bashing it. There's been worse things in this world...much worse.