The Thirst DVD: Review By MutantFairy

What an awful movie. Do not watch it. I barely stopped myself from fast forwarding through this. It's a terrible horror movie that has watery blood spurting everywhere like an old comedy sketch.

I guess the pitch was "What if addicts became vampires?" They were supposed to become addicted to drinking blood but like everything else in this movie it is done horribly. Maybe if they had just stuck with that, it might have been interesting, instead we get a "family" of Near Dark rejects who decide to eliminate the addicts. On the other hand sticking with the addict angle we end up with a terrible scene where they try to "detox" by chewing on an old mattress. It was ridiculously stupid so maybe I shouldn't complain that they didn't just do vampire addicts.

The directing & editing is horrible. There are quick cuts with screeching sounds, usually reserved for scene changes in TV shows, that are used constantly in this movie. They are used not just to show us "action" where it's accompanied by metal music & sped up film but it's also used to show us a depressed guy. It doesn't work in either situation. The directing is so terrible that neither emotion is conveyed. The boyfriend is so depressed that he doesn't shave & now he has a beard but his beard is perfectly shaped & trimmed. He was super depressed because his girlfriend is dead but when he returns from his first feeding to find her having just finished a threesome with some other guy he doesn't react. Of course his reaction would have been terrible anyway. Matt Keeslar (who I enjoyed as The Middleman) was terrible in this movie & so was everyone else. Adam Baldwin, Neil Jackson, Tom Lenk (Andrew from Buffy & Angel) & Clare Kramer (also from Buffy) are not a reason to watch this.

It was written by 5 people, but this movie is what happens when you don't have enough monkeys at the typewriters.