HellBoy Two Disc Special Edition DVD: Review By justincase

I'm sure your mother once told you that if you don't have anything nice to say (to or about someone), don't say it. In considering this good advice, I almost should simply stop typing, shut off my laptop and go do something else. I'm here to offer my opinion, though -- so, here goes...

Hellboy earned nearly $60 million at the domestic box office. What the HELL?!?! Guillermo del Toro leverages his chops, here, to drape on the screen a rambling, pointless but visually stimulating tale of monsters that fight other monsters. Huh?

What is the point of this? Is X-Men not enough? Do we not have enough superheros? Holy hell. This thing should have stayed in the colored funny-papers. This is a fable about a character that only a true fanboy geek could love and a group of compatriots and adversaries that are as compelling as an enema. The actors do a fine job. It's the story that sucks, here, though. No amount of decent acting could save a story that no one could care about.

Ron Perelman is a great Hellboy, though. He is a great actor and I always enjoy watching him work. BUT, if there was ever a character that fit his facial features, his demeanor, his stature... Hellboy is it. Everyone else does a decent job, though, too. I just wish this cast were assembled in a better story.

Guillermo did some great work in Blade II I'll sign up to see his other work, too. I can't stress enough that all the cast and crew of this film are pros. I've liked a lot of their previous work. This film, though, is a steaming pile of dung. I can't believe that some counter-culture contingent has kept the story of this would-be hero in print for over 10 years.

I'm shaking my head. We're all fools. We'll consume anything. It is clear, though, that the comic-to-film thing is waaaaay played out. If this is now what we've arrived at, I can only hope this is the end and the pendulum will swing back the other way.

Overall, this disc must have a bunch of worthy stuff. If your a true geek fanboy, you'll doubtless spend hours delving into the double-disc set.

I barely got through the film in 2 sittings, though. I could only stand to let some of the features play in the background while I write this review. The doc*mentary was mildly entertaining and showed a lot about the film-making, set creation, production design, wardrobe, Hellboy lore, character/monster creation, but I call it very mediocre.

If you'd like to check out the full list of features, check them out here.

I can't take anymore.

Unless you're a true comic-geek fanboy, save your money and your time. Let this one collect dust at Blockbuster. Better to dig into those reruns of American Chopper that you've TIVO'd than to bother with this tripe.