My Best Friend's Girl DVD: Review By ClarkieDude

My wife and I had both had relatively bad days; hers was worse than mine. Besides, we were both very tired. However, we were happy that our Netflix DVD's had arrived in the mail--among them a film we both wanted to see called, "My Best Friend's Girl". I wanted to see it because of the cool Cars lyrics (You've got your nuclear boots/And your drip-dry gloves...). She wanted to see it because Dane Cook is an amazing stand-up comedian and [in her words]: "he's HOT!"

I figured a movie that received an anemic 16% at Rotten Tomatoes would be so bad that it would be good.

I was wrong.

"My Best Friend's Girl" is just plain sloppy.

Dane Cook may be hot, but his character, Tank (get it?) is ugly and unlikeable, fashioned after his father (played with crass grace, ironically, by Alec Baldwin, the best thing about this gateway to comedic oblivion). Kate Hudson's character is also unlikeable and seemingly self-loathing throughout most of the frat-house cliches, stitched together in an attempt to pass for a story. Jason Biggs seems either lost, bored, or pissed at his agent for landing him in a role you could sleep-walk through.

Tank is a sort of Hitch in reverse, Will Smith on a very dull acid trip with moments of hateful clarity. (Literally! Director Howard Deutch numbers each time Tank does something painfully, cartoonishly, disturbingly mean-spirited to earn a few bucks on the side, including the exact time, setting up couples by...aw, forget the spoilers! Why re-live this trash? It gives me a headache!)

Like downing all your candy on Halloween night just because you're in the mood and you can, "My Best Friend's Girl" leaves its audience crawling to the doors for the nearest latrine.

What's so funny about a grown man dropping his pants, requesting oral pleasure from the mother of the bride at a wedding? Or Producers Greg Lessans, Adam Herz, Josh Shader, Guymon Casady, Doug Johnson, Barry Katz, and Brian Volk-Weiss believing that most (or even some) grown women respond favorably to a washed-up telemarketer moonlighting as his own pimp in clubs and bars? This is a turn-on? Really?

Guys think Tank is outrageously cool. Biggs' feeble-minded man-child of a character certainly seems to think so...until Cook swipes Hudson out from under him and--ultimately--Hudson thinks Cook is just as cool as all those sleaze-bags in bars and clubs do. And they live happily ever after.

Biggs learns a really awesome lesson and finally gets laid in the end because, hey, it's so totally cool to debase and degrade women, hate yourself, dislike others, and appear doubtlessly schooled by your best friend.

Or his girl.

Or a tremendously bad script.