Transylmania DVD: Review By B. Alan Orange

Throughout the Aughts, the sh*tastic duo of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg have turned Spoof into a dirty, hated, yet vary lucrative word that most film enthusiasts stay very far away from. Their horrible stretches of celluloid known as Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie have gone down in history as some of the worst comedies ever created for human consumption. Yet the kids love them to death. So they'll keep making them as long as there is an audience willing to pay for such wicked, pain-inducing tripe. Because of this, the word "spoof" has grown to cause pancreatic cramps in even the most ardent lover of lowbrow cinema. These cheap knock-offs are churned out on the quick, and usually consist of nothing more than a bunch of hack actors spouting the titles of better movies in hopes of generating a bit of recognition with those sorry sonsabitches in attendance. They don't even carry any real, solid jokes within their barren, chewed-up uteruses. They are useless endeavors, and at first sight, Transylmania seems like just another entry in this dustbin of sh*t-dipped vomit on a stick. But it's actually nothing at all like those other spoof movies. It has its own ardent storyline and doesn't rely on thirty other blockbusters to give it a bit of heft. Sure, it's spoofing our current vampire-loving culture, but its much more of a satire and a farce than it is a spoof. It doesn't regurgitate and parade out a bunch of already established characters. Instead, it builds its own tiny, dumb universe of jokes and ideas. And it works for what it is. The film is directed by David and Scott Hillenbrand, the duo responsible for National Lampoon's Dorm Daze franchise. Transylmania is actually a continuation of that deft series, down to the fact that all of the actors have even been recycled. Which gives this fling a real family touch. It's charming, and at almost an hour and forty minutes, it somehow never manages to wear out its welcome. Much like Dorm Daze, which is pretty good for a sh*tty National Lampoon direct-to-DVD title, this goofy comedy finds some good laughs in a group of college kids heading off to a university in Romania, where they encounter hunchback girls, vampires, and creepy midgets. There's some nonsense about split personalities and various different characters being possessed, and we get another go at Van Helsing, who was also recently spoofed in the pretty terrible, but pretty to look at Stan Helsing. Transylmania is quite a bit more entertaining than that previous film. Kids who love the Seltzer/Friedberg spoofs will be blown away by the artistry and inventiveness on display here. That said, if you hate truly stupid, anchoritic, self-serving drips of goofiness, this won't be your idea of a good time. Leave it alone and watch something else. Transylmania is like a drug-induced stupor. Either you enjoy those types of things, or you don't. If you enjoy them, the Hillenbrand brothers offer up a pretty good buzz.

This DVD is cram-packed with extra content. David and Scott join their cast for a rousing screen specific audio commentary that is actually a lot more fun than watching the film itself. There is an extended gag reel that showcases the use of real pot and alcohol on set, which seems very counter productive. There is an unnecessary alternate opening, which sets up some of the vampire back-story we'll later see in the movie. And there's an even more useless, and boring alternate ending that definitely needed to be left in the dumpster. There's almost a whole movie's worth of deleted and extended scenes, and if you make it through all of them, you are a bigger lover of crap than even I. We also get a behind the scenes Featurette which shows us how much fun this gang is having, and a "stoner" version of the trailer that shows us the movie from two dope fiend's perspective (it's not as funny as it sounds, but worth a look).

The film is presented in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1.85:1. In color. The runtime has been extended to one hour and thirty-seven minutes for this unrated version.

The film is presented in English 5.1 Dolby Digital, with English and English SDH subtitles.

For the theatrical release, we got a headless, bare-chested dude. It was clearly for the chicks infatuated with Twilight. For the home video release, we get a headless hot chick with a belly piercing who doesn't appear in the film at all. We also get a our very own quote on her crotch. She holds a stake in memory of Buffy, and its quite clear from the little vampire on her shirt, and the blood-dripping titles that this is going to be a bit spooky. It's attractive enough. I might give it a go if I were bored. And horny. Like the seventeen year old boys that will gobble this up.

Transylmania is one of the better spoofs on the market. Following its own storyline, the Hillenbrand brothers don't have to rely on better films to push their comedy home. It's got a goofy charm that will appeal to those not seeking much in the way of intelligent entertainment. If you liked the Hillenbrand's great direct-to-DVD film Dorm Daze and its sequel, you'll probably find this equally amusing. Rent it for a good time. Buy it if you can't get enough of these modern day spoof films that have flooded the market. Either way, you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised. It should be complete crap, but it's a little above that.