Hey, Kids! Jimmy Fetus here with this week's DVD pick. Gather yourselves around the warm glow of that monitor so I can tell you all about "Jeepers Creepers 2!"
T'was Christmas Eve, and your lil' shriveled buddy, Jim (that'd be me; whaaa!), was desperately looking to be entertained in his home of loneliness. I wanted something new, something cool. So I ran down to Nutcup's Records for a look at their latest releases. And what do I find Hollywood shoving up my undeveloped nostrils this holly, jolly season? Yup, you guessed it, another installment of the Monster Franchise Jeepers Creepers. What's eating me? I'll tell you what: The DVD God's inability to judge when certain films should and shouldn't be released.
Oh well, no biggie. I've been in a pretty black mood as of late. Life is bleak in Hell, even for a dead baby. I don't feel like celebrating the birth of Christ, the victory of the Maccabees, the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple, or the miracle of some State Fair oil that burned for 8 days. Heck, I was a kid born into Kwanzaa and I don't even feel like rejoicing in the first harvest of Africa. Jeepers Creepers 2 might be right up my alley, right?
So, I went ahead and plunked down my seventeen bucks. I took it home.
I've got to tell you. I really got into this tight little whip-snap of B trash. It's a spooky exploitation picture in league with the best Universal Monster flicks. I was crawling around on the edge of my tiny baby seat when Ray Wise shot his harpoon through that bus window. Right into Mr. Jeeper's chest cavity.
Then, who walks in and ruins it for me? Yup, that jerk B. Alan Orange.
I hadn't seen the first Jeepers Creepers. And I didn't know anything about the director. By watching this film, I didn't know I was embracing a pedophile. But that's what Brad claimed I was doing. He then went on to explain, point for point, how director Victor Salva was evoking his past transgressions through cinematic technique. It kind of threw me. Some of what he said made sense, yet at other times, I felt he was reaching