Kill Switch DVD: Review By Brian Gallagher

Kill Switch is just flat-out awful, a brutal, ham-fisted reminder of why Steven Seagal has been stuck in straight-to-video hell for the past six years or so… and a reminder of why he won’t be leaving that hell anytime soon.
  • OVERALL
    0.0
    HORRIBLE
  • Feature
  • Picture
  • Sound
  • Extras
  • Replay Value
THE GOOD
NOTHING AT ALL!!
THE BAD
EVERYTHING!!!!
THE FEATURE
When I first heard about Jean-Claude Van Damme's comeback vehicle, of sorts, JCVD, I started to wonder when Steven Seagal would do a film that would lend some credibility to the former big-time action star. Seagal has been relegated to the world of straight-to-video since his last major-studio bomb Half Past Dead in 2002, where he's been writing most of his movies as well, and I have to say, after watching and suffering through Kill Switch (which he did in fact write), I think a comeback is farther away than ever because this was simply wretched.

To be honest, I haven't seen a Seagal film since the aforementioned Half Past Dead (yes, I was one of the few) and I must say... I haven't missed Steven Seagal at all. In fact, it's gotten worse. Now he's writing his own films and starring in them, apparently making a bid to become some comeback hyphenate or something, but his writing is even worse than his acting, which hasn't improved along the way either. Here he stars as Jacob King, a big-time homicide detective on the mean streets of Memphis and his reputation for brutal handling of suspects is only matched by his effectiveness in collaring criminals. He and his partner Storm Anderson (Chris Thomas King) are still trying to solve one mysterious case, though, a killer who leaves mysterious symbols carved into his victims and this case catches the attention of the feds, who send in Agent Frankie Miller (Holly Dignard) to observe and report and all that jazz.

The fact that Segal's King is a hard-nosed cop with a rough streak against suspects, in Memphis, with this kind of killer, is like a incredibly weird mix of The Shield, Hustle and Flow and The Da Vinci Code... but with all of the entertainment value completely sucked out. There are seriously NO redeeming factors in this entire movie. At all. None whatsoever. Seriously. NONE! O.K., the only tiny shard of entertainment might come from laughing at Seagal's amazingly terrible attempt at a Memphis sort of accent, like he was trying to channel the spirit of Terrence Howard's DJay from Hustle and Flow. Apparently Seagal is still riding the credibility of the story credit he received on his first film, Above the Law, because this script, which he wrote by himself, is absolute rubbish. The dialogue is straight off the cob (corny... get it?), the characters are stale and this moronic back-story they get into with Seagal's character goes absolutely nowhere, even though they spend way too much time on it. While Segal's acting is surely at its worse, he gets zero help from Chris Thomas King, Holly Dignard and even the former animated Chef himself, Issac Hayes, who appears briefly as a coroner. What's worse than that is what's usually the best part of his movies is essentially at its worst here: the action.

Director Jeff King and editor Jamie Alain would've ruined this film... if it would've been good in the first place, but their incompetence simply adds to the steaming pile of Schmidt that is Kill Switch. There are a number of fight scenes in the film, as to be expected, but they're made almost unwatchable by either King's director or Alain's super-cut-happy editing, or a combo of both. They have this annoying tendency to do these quick cuts, that perhaps he thought would be cool because it would make them move quickly through the room... but most times it just looks like a rip-off of the weird smash-cut moments with Greg Grunberg's Matt Parkman when he tries to read someone's mind on Heroes. Alain apparently thinks the more cuts in a fight scene, the better and King apparently thinks that the camera should be in as close as possible, to maximize confusion and suckability. King brings us in so close during these fight scenes, sometimes you don't even know who's hitting who. It's a horrific combination of bottom-of-the-barrell directing and editing in an unharmonic convergence of absurdity that makes this movie exponentially worse than if it was just another crappy Steven Seagal flick.

Kill Switch is just flat-out awful, a brutal, ham-fisted reminder of why Steven Seagal has been stuck in straight-to-video hell for the past six years or so... and a reminder of why he won't be leaving that hell anytime soon.
THE EXTRAS
Probably the best part of the disc, because there is nothing here and nothing further for your to prolong your suffering.
THE VIDEO
The film is presented in the widescreen format in the 1.78:1 aspect ratio.
THE AUDIO
The sound is handled through the Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound format.
THE PACKAGE
Just as lame as the terrible movie. The front cover has a standard shot of Seagal looking mean and pointing a gun, with a boring tagline, title card and some random pics below. The back has the retarded tagline yet again, but bigger, some more random pics, a boring synopsis, small "special features" listing, which is just the tech specs, really, and the billing block and tech specs again.
THE FINAL WORD
While it's tough for me to pick a worst movie that I've ever seen, since I've seen and reviewed so many of them, Kill Switch takes its place in the upper (or lower, I guess) echelon of terrible movies I've had to endure.

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Comments (3)

  1. Brian Gallagher

    Thanks guys.

    6 years agoby @gallagherFlag

  2. Shelley

    I own several Steven Segal films, but they are all about ten years old (except for two which are five years old). As of late his movies have been unwatchable to me, including this one. Good review.

    6 years agoby @shelleyFlag

  3. Dani83

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love Steven Segal, I watch his movies every chance I get just to crack my ass laughing! He was in a horrific movie a while back that suppose to take place in my country (Uruguay) and they made it look like a mexican village in the late 19th century, just hidious, offensive, but funny as hell...

    6 years agoby @dani83Flag