Tokyo Gore Police DVD: Review By The_Fallen_One

Oh my sweet lord how could this have happened so soon?!In case your unaware my most recent review was for a little tokyo shock flick called "Machine Girl" (shameless self promotion here)Let me pause while you go check up that masterpiece of a review....I kid of course.Now machine girl rocked my *sshole inside out with all its poorly costumed ninja limbs flying this way and that in a non stop crimson fountain!It really is the closest thing I've seen to a live action anime.....and then this movie comes along and makes My sweet machine girl look like the f*cking teletubbies!I picked this up for twenty bucks I was suprised to just FIND it normally these movies make me work for em'.So you could say I went out on a limb with this,you could also say that i got my limb and so many others back that i could fill my house!But where machine girl stayed nice and simple as just a revenge flick with not too much anime-like complication,this one is damn near impossible to pitch!From what I can gather in the near future in Japan there is this new breed of villain called the "Engineers" a group of people who are able to integrate weapons into theyre anatomy through self mutilation!You with me so far?So we follow a girl who works for the police force...I dont know if they are actually referred to as the gore police but at least the title lets you know what your getting into.Played by Eihi Shiina of "Audition" fame if you havent seen audition do yourself a favor!I find her very pretty but now its hard not to associate her with really disturbing things and just general creepieness....Jeez I am really bad at getting off topic!Anyway her pappy was killed and she is trying to find the guy who did it.Sounds simple right?And it would be if not for all the mutants and meat keys that open peoples faces and so on.This movie is ridiculously violent,after reviewing machine girl i simply dont know what words to use to properly put this in perspective.But we get guys with chainsaws for hands,guys with brains that have gun barrels growing from it,people with exacto knives for arms girls with theyre t*ts sewn together and crocodile mouths for legs,giant C*CK guns!Yeah C*CK guns!Just say that!You literally see everything in this movie it is so far out there that i thought maybe i dropped some acid and just imagined watching it.The violence is absolutely insane and never lets up but aside from f*cked up images and violence this has NOTHING else,but it attempts a story which is where this movie gets a little lost.So for all the same reasons (and some i never even fathomed in my most morbid nightmares)this movie rocks just like machine girl so if your like me and love fake blood everywhere,obvious prosthetics being strewn about and dudes getting theyre c*ck bitten off only to have a giant C*CK GUN take its place!Im sorry i cant get over that,someone involved with this picture wasnt right in the head.Then you'll love it too.Oh and last but not least the extras got a one cause there isnt much other than a few tokyo shock trailers that'll have me on the prowl for the next little while....but I think the bar for ludicrous violence has been set and if I am proven wrong yet AGAIN I may give up eating.