Old Dogs - 3 Disc Blu-ray Combo Pack Blu-ray: Review By Dodd

I knew this moment would somehow come and bite me in the ass. There are tons of Oscar contenders out there that I have yet to see. Yet what I did end up watching this weekend, thanks to the complimentary copy from Disney, is Old Dogs. But is watching Old Dogs really such a bad thing? After all, if one were to watch nothing but good things, then they would begin classifying good and bad amongst things that are nothing but good. Because, let's face it, there is always bad to compliment the good in this world. So is Old Dogs as bad as the reputation that precedes it? Well, it does reek of uninspired jokes. But I did manage to somehow catch a glimmer of the what and why behind its existence.

Charlie (John Travolta) and Dan (Robin Williams) are two lifelong friends who are in business together. While in a business meeting, Charlie recounts an incredibly unfunny story to their potential Japanese clients about how Dan once got drunk, got a tattoo, and had a wild night with a mysterious woman named Vicki (Kelly Preston, AKA Mrs. John Travolta). This scene is painfully out of place, but it forcefully serves a point in the storytelling. This wild night happened to be seven years ago. Coincidentally, Vicki appears with news that she has to serve a two week stint in jail. And it gets better! She has a set of twins named Emily and Zach that are the result of the drunken evening she had with Dan. She just never had the decency to inform him of his love children until she needed a babysitter for them.

So there is the plot establishment for the color-by-numbers idea of two clueless buffoons being left in charge of two clever kids. Wacky antics do indeed ensue. Gags include Williams and Travolta accidentally consuming pills causing hallucinations and ravenous hunger. Williams also gets trapped in a spray-on tan booth. You can also factor in a cross-eyed Rita Wilson getting her hands slammed into a trunk while "Big Girls Don't Cry" blasts on the soundtrack. We also get a 1-minute appearance by Ann Margaret yelling at John Travolta for eating a rhubarb pie. Wait a tick....where the hell did Ann Margaret come from?

Alright so this movie stinks. There is really no cohesion to the "gags" put on display here and the way they are carried out makes for long and painful moments. The reason this movie does not completely lose its rating recognition is because I can actually see the agenda of the filmmakers. This is something I fail to see in a steaming pile of crap such as Epic Movie. I may not find Old Dogs funny nor would many of my fellow film buff friends. The truth is that most of the general public that did go see this did find it funny. The jokes are mind-numbingly moronic, but many viewers could care less if anyone tried to write a smart joke. They just want simple stimulus to make them laugh. So keeping this in mind, Old Dogs actually achieves its goal.

I reviewed the Blu Ray/DVD combo and was only able to take in the minimal offering on the DVD. There are deleted scenes and bloopers. There is also a commentary track with the director and writers. I am not sure if that dose of insight was really worth my time.

Widescreen. Walt Becker's direction in this movie actually manages to fall even short of mediocre. The most noticeable flaw is the editing that almost made me nautious from stupidity.

5.1 Dolby. The soundtrack is not half bad. It is just juxtaposed with nonsense.

The Blu Ray and DVD are included in a single case together. The main cast members are pictured on the front cover.

Old Dogs is what it is. Frankly I pretty much hate it, but I do not blame it for having a lucrative, built-in audience. I think this will sell well on the home video market. However I am too shamed to cram this onto my shelf.

Dodd Alley

dodd@movieweb.com