National Lampoon's Spring Break DVD: Review By Brian Gallagher

No folks, those zero stars are not typos. It's really that bad. Are there hot girls here? Check. Copious amounts of booze? Check. Wild and crazy guys and girls willing to do anything for the camera? Well...

This is basically National Lampoon's answer to the wildly successful Girls Gone Wild series. But it's nothing close to those flicks for a few reasons, two main ones: breasts. We barely see any topless action here, in fact, we see more National Lampoon signs than bare breasts and all we really get is a bevy of shots looking up skirts and down blouses. Sure, we do get plenty of eye candy here, tons of hotties dancing around in bikinis and drinking beers. The main problem is we get that over and over again, with nothing really that wild and/or crazy save the occasional flash here and there.

We get these random perspectives at Spring Break through three locales, Cabo San Lucas, South Padre Island and Las Vegas. First of all, if you are planning a Spring Break trip, and you want to see some skin, don't go to Vegas, or at least the lame clubs they filmed at here. Anyway, we're guided on this little spring break tour by Nikki Ziering, who was the blonde cop stripper from American Wedding. We get a few glimpses of her in some bikini's and less, delivering a slew of corny lines in trasition between the different locales. We also get these two dopes Brian and Diego who schlep their way through Vegas, hitting a string of bad luck and annoying the crap out of everyone.

You know what this is like? It's like being right at Spring Break yourself... if you were sober, not seeing any action and either looking up skirts or down blouses the whole time without doing anything else. Sounds like fun, don't it? No, of course it doesn't.

Thankfully, there's nothing to see here.

The flick, or whatever this thing is, is presented in the fullscreen format, in the 1.33:1 aspect ratio.

The sound is handled through the 2.0 Audio. Not Dolby Digital or DTS, some generic format. It doesn't really matter though. If for some reason you watch this, you won't need to hear anything anyway.

Nothing special. We get Ziering and some other chick in bikinis on the front with a big mug of beer next to them. On the back we have another shot of Ziering and a little synopsis along with a little warning that there is nudity and other naughty stuff, along with the billing block. Blah.

If you want to see some hot naked chicks, go somewhere else. There are plenty of hot chicks here, barely any of them topless let alone naked. If you're reading this, you have the internet, and if you have the internet, you will likely be able to find hotter, more naked chicks and you won't have to sit through the 70 minutes (which feels like 700) of this "movie" and keep a little piece of your sanity. Cheers.